The P.S.R. Section

Pioneer. Chiropractor. Hammock hazard. The committee has stopped pretending anyone else can catch him.

Cycling messiah. Knocking on the 9-point door for the better part of a decade.

Treasurer. Wedding ring sacrificed to the river gods in '19. Has never been the same.

Eagle Scout. Lantern bearer. Driver of foreign cars. Brings a clipboard for fun.

Brought a damn couch on the river one year. Has not lived it down. Refuses to.

What he lacks in beauty, he makes up for in cordurability. Owns nine pairs of corduroy.

Big mother fucker. Loud. Confident. Frequently overboard. Beloved.

Trinidad transplant. Lost a GoPro to the chutes. Will not stop talking about it.

The Legend. Arrived during Mario Kart Grind in full Luigi cosplay. Stayed in character three days.

Located Jimmy's knife in the rapids with his bare foot. Refused stitches. Hero status confirmed.

Saint of the put-in. Has personally rescued nine kayaks before they ever hit the water.

Red Sox fan. Notable DNS in '17 — "food poisoning" we are told. Sure, buddy.

Allegedly slept through a thunderstorm under a single tarp. Woke up dry. Witchcraft suspected.

Cajun. Brought a deep fryer. Of course he did. Powered it off a Honda generator strapped to a kayak.

Claims he can roll a kayak. Has never demonstrated this on camera. We have our doubts.

Has fallen out of a kayak in every body of water on the continent. Working on the Great Lakes.

Irish goodbye specialist. Mysteriously reappears at takeout with a fresh shirt and a full beer.

Lost a Yeti to the Llano in '21. Held a private memorial. Still wears the wristband.

Built a fire with one match and a vape pen. Has an engineering degree he won't shut up about.

Tipped over reaching for a beer. Saved the beer. Lost the sunglasses. Acceptable trade.

Pulled three people out of one eddy in '21. Has won't shut up about it. We let him.

Hair longer than his attention span. Plays a mean harmonica around 2 AM, unrequested.

Brought an espresso machine. Powered it off the truck battery. Genuine hero. No notes.

Slipped on a wet rock and called it a 'tactical descent.' Bled into the river. Apologized to it.

Rookie. Showed up in cargo Crocs and a Costco poncho. Somehow scored higher than expected.